Survive
by Izzu
Summary: Kamen Rider Ryuki. Somehow, what does it mean to survive?


az: I used to have an idea on what to write, blame it to Revolution looping in my head. But somehow this story took a life of its own. Hopefully those who read this could understand it better than I could.

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Survive

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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He never managed to figure out why Kanzaki had given him that Survive card.

_"That's for when you eventually fight the other Riders."_

_"Use the power of that card to overwhelm them and win."_

It troubled him. Kanzaki had sounded confident. As if implying that someday he would also become like the other Riders he knew, who were fighting with strong determination, in order to achieve their one wish. Even at the cost of others' lives. He had firmly stated that he didn't need it. Kanzaki didn't seem to get it. He just continued giving him no heed.

_"A time will come when you must battle with a stronger, greater power."_

But somehow he was still unnerved. Even after the man had left, Kanzaki still managed to unsettle him.

Why did he give him this card?

Little did Shinji know that somewhere in another side of the city, there were still another three Riders whom he would never meet in this present time. One of them being his mirror self. Despite the fact in another time, their paths had met and clashed. A version of his tale that could have remained written had Time haven't been turned and repeated numerous of times. How his mirror self could have existed, he would not have the chance to know in this version of Time. Whether or not its existence had taken its own consciousness, due to Kanzaki Shiro's manipulation of Time—Shinji couldn't even imagine it to be possible. Because this time, neither of them had met. Even if they do, Shinji most probably never noticed it.

But Kanzaki knew. He had known it ever since the first time he had started everything, before he had to keep repeating everything because Kido Shinji always ended up standing in his path. Somehow, during many of those times; he would always fail to stop Shinji from becoming Ryuki. Since somehow it seemed, Kido Shinji's fate would always cross the fate of his sister's. As do Dragredder. That dragon always seemed to have more affinity to Shinji rather than Sakakibara. At which point, despite how many times he had dreaded the fact Kido always ended up becoming a Rider no matter how many times he tried to prevent it—he finally accepted it as something inevitable. Because despite everything, he realized that no matter how many times he had repeated Time; one thing seldom changed. Kido Shinji almost always—ended up trying his best to save his sister. Even after he had repeated Time numerous times—while Kido Shinji never remembered his connection to Yui, that mirror image of him always did.

Perhaps that was why, when Ryuga had been defeated prematurely during this version of time—he gave the Survive card to Shinji. Because he knew what kind of potential was in store for Ryuki and Knight was becoming stronger every day, especially with Survive in his possession. Of course, he had Odin as his trump but one can never be prepared enough.

Kido Shinji couldn't possibly be able to understand the full extent of his scheme. The Rider Battle could never be stopped, at least by him.

xxx

Survive.

True to Kanzaki's words, that card did give him enormous powers. It was shocking. With Ren, it felt as if all around them had been hit by a very strong gust of wind. When he pulled out the card, it felt as if in that instant of time, everything around him would be engulfed in flames. Almost every time when he had pulled that card out, he sensed that unlimited power. Like the very nature of fire, he feared that its power could be so great—that it could swallow everything in its path. He wondered if it was even possible, for him to control that kind of unlimited power.

Yet, he had never been able to grasp the true nature of that card. Because he only used it whenever he was in need to use that kind of power, he thought that card was just what it provided. To give the user enough power they needed to overwhelm their opponent, in order for them to _survive_ their battles. That was what he thought it meant. That he should use it to destroy every single monster that stood before him—in order for him to continue to _survive_. He vowed to stop the Rider Battle, therefore he must continue to fight. If he did not fight, he wouldn't survive.

He would prove to Kanzaki that his survival all this time was not a fluke.

Ironically, he understood the nature of the card near the end. Or actually, he had known it ever since the beginning when he had first used the card. He only never managed to fully grasp on it until later. The Survive card did not just give more power to its user; it draws out the strong desire of its user to keep on living, thus providing them with more power. The more you desire to keep living, the more you'd keep on getting stronger. It's a very potent power.

When he had been stabbed at the back by one of those Raydragoons that were terrorizing the city, he was almost despaired at the fact he would die without being able to protect anyone. But then, seeing Ren fighting alone by himself on the other side—he had steeled his will and transformed. Even if this would be his last battle, he would continue to fight.

In which, during the midst of the battle, he finally noticed it. Even if you continue to survive, if it was at the cost of others; you could never be completely happy. This was true for the Riders as well as those left behind. It was still be a sad fate.

As expected, he really did want to close the Mirror World. Even if people may despise him for this, regardless whether or not this was right or wrong—fighting was never the answer. All the lives lost, all of those taken… in the end it would still cause much sorrow. To everyone involved, especially on the Riders. It would just be sad.

Unfortunately, he wished he could have continued to survive. Because now, he had all the more reason to do so. There were still so much important things that mattered!

If only he could…

In the end, there was still so much at stake. There were still more reason to keep on surviving.


End file.
